All that glisters is not gold

Being the smart Alec that I occasionally am I often like to correct people when they are wrong. For instance the much used (often in a slightly patronising way) phrase 'All that glistens is not gold' should actually read as today's title using the word 'glistERS'. It's only because I was forced to study Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice that I know this fact but, despite failing English Literature, it's nice to think that I remembered something from my school days. All this waffle leads me, albeit rather pithily, onto today's subject - pimping your ride for promotional purposes (and try saying that after half a shandy). Naturally at exhibitions each stand is vying for attention and they try as hard as they can with clever lighting, pretty girls (in very short supply at the Cycle Show - although the girl on the SKINS compression clothing stand was a marked exception), loud music or, as above, a ridiculously pimped example of a certain product. Now, the above Brompton was not actually on the Brompton stand so we can't be too tough on Andy (chapeau! by the way on getting the Prince Phillip Designers Award) but you can't help getting the feeling that somebody at Brompton knew what was going to happen to one of their babies and secretly quite liked the idea. No, this 24ct Gold 'beauty' was being used to promote an insurance company. Not only had they had the audacity to gold plate it but, to add insult to injury, they had added a cue-ball derailleur lever in an attempt to make it look like something ridden around South Compton instead of South Kensington. What made me laugh the most however was the fact that you could actually win this bike. Why in the name of Vicky Pendleton would anybody want to ride around on a 24ct Gold Brompton? One thing is for sure - you would need every penny of your accident cover for each time you were rammed into the curb by every driver that caught sight of you. However, if you think that this is a bit OTT you should have seen the Swarovski (is their NOTHING that those whores will not 'customise') bike. I couldn't bring myself to take a picture for fear of being blinded by the glister.