I luuurve dee caaaaayke

When a blogger is Downe, when a cyclist is blue he get's in his car and what does he do?

He drives through the lanes and for his sanity's sake, he stops at a tea shop and has a nice cake.

And what a lovely cake it was (it would have to be to move me to poetry). Many times I have ridden through the sleepy village of Downe and, together with contemplating the origin of the species I have also contemplated what the cake shop might be like. So, with little motivation to ride on a dull and drizzly Saturday my beloved and I strapped in futurestar and headed to Cake in Downe.

What an absolute delight - friendly staff that looked as if they cooked (and ate) with love cheerily talked through the daily delights. Beloved went for a classic Victoria sponge (light, fluffy, perfect balance of cream and jam) whilst I 'plum'-ped for the warm plumb crumble cake ('freshly picked from the garden) - it was utterly heavenly. All washed down with a pot of tea whilst we sat in the window watching the wheelers cruise by as many a customer will have done to me.

Please go - you won't be disappointed.

A little bit dicey

Sadly by the time you probably read this post it will be irelevant but I'll carry on typing in this knowledge.

I have just spent the last 14 minutes watching 'A Throw of the Dice' which is one of Rapha's attempts to elevate the sport into an art form. Now, whilst they have undoubtedly elevated the sport and the clothing I think it's fair to say that they have probably gone a little bit further than they needed to with this cinematic offering.

If you read this post before midnight tonight (I think, although their website says 12.00am on Saturday 14th August which means that it should have actually ended about 14 hour ago) then you too can have the privilege of a 'preview' of the Nick Livesey directed guff.

The subject is great - the tale of the Lion of Flanders himself - but the intercut scenes of war and poetic prose is, quite frankly, utter, utter crap and totally overrides (no pun intended) the great footage and narrative of the Lion himself.

So, Mr Motram et al, I implore you, get a grip and keep doing what you are doing but please don't disappear too far up your own Arenbergs. Merci

Picture courtesy of Nick Livesey / RSA films (I hope they don't mind after what I've said)

The wonderfully Weekly

Long term readers of this blog will know that I have a contempt for a certain Weekly Cycling magazine (I'm not going to tell you which one of course). It's not simply the fact that it hoiks it's price up before during and after Le Tour or even the often pithy editorial comments. It's just that it's a bit stuck in the 80's and continues to have the irritating us and them attitude about those that pedal and those that don't (get over it!).

However, I'll be the first to admit that I by it religiously and almost as religiously I laugh at it's gaffs. And this week's is so good that I feel the need to transcribe -

Page 30

WIN a signed team Sky jersey and Gatorade hydration pack!

Gatorade, the world’s most researched sports drink, has recently become a key supporter of cycling in the UK, becoming the official nutrition partner to Team Sky, British Cycling and the Great Britain Cycling Team. Gatorade is also fuelling the Sky Ride programme – a series of mass participation cycling events which aim to get one million more people cycling regularly each month across the UK.

Gatorade has been fuelling Team Sky at the tour this year and prior to the race have been working with Team Sky’s Nutritionist, Nigel Mitchell to ensure the team have the best products, means of delivery and support, including support from Dr Ian Rollo of the Gatorade Sports Science institute.

To mark Gatorade’s work with Team Sky and their phenomenal efforts during the Tour de France, Gatorade have teamed up with Cycling Weekly to offer one lucky reader the chance to win a signed Team Sky tour jersey signed by the entire tour team and all British riders, as well as a Gatorade Hydration Pack and Team Sky TT bottle and carbon fibre bottle cage.

To enter simply answer the following question

Who is Team Sky’s team nutritionist?

* Dr Ian Rollo
* Nigel Mitchell
* Bradley Wiggins


Now, all pretty straightforward and I have to say very tempting. Now for the punchline - where might one send their entry for said SKY competition I wonder? Well, and no word of a lie (it's in print) -

Cervelo Test team competitions entries, Leon House, 233 High Street, Croydon, CR9 7HZ

Genius!! (I'll let you know if I win)

The ride of my life

At about half four yesterday I got a text from Dan to alert me to a BBC4 programme that was being shown in the evening called The Ride of My Life.

Normally with telly about the things that you hold dear they can be a let down - I wouldn't have done that, you don't do it like that and so on and so forth. But I have to say that within the space of one hour Rob Penn made one of the best cycling related bits of television I have ever seen.

The premise is that he is building his dream bike and travelling the world to find the dream kit for it but, whilst doing this, he also manages to give a potted history of the bike from it's inception right up to today. Every single thing he picks up on from a Chris King headset (got one) to a Campag groupset (check) all the way to riding with the original Marin County mountain bikers (one for Dan) is spot on.

If you missed it thank your lucky stars for the iplayer.

Chapeau Monsieur Penn, chapeau Le Beeb et chapeau Dan for the heads up

Don't say it's over

It simply wasn't the same tonight - coming home, bouncing futurestar around until I got fed up with him (only jesting my dear) and then flicking on ITV4 in the knowledge that, even though it was on, it wasn't really on - it was over.

It's been a great 3 weeks but a little tainted due to my woefully poor blog to stage ratio. So, rather than go back to my usual colour scheme, I am going to keep the magic alive by sharing a few more pics of the mini road trip.

First up what was probably the best stage in many, many years - the road to Roubaix. Enjoy as much as we did. Sigh.


Ryder on the storm


Rabobank take up the pace


Proof that Team Sky did actually do something!

The shame of it

This is not the scheduled post but, even though it pains me, I feel I must share it with my loyal reader.

Tonight, whilst cycling home on my usual route, I cruised up towards Denmark Hill and timed my run up just right to catch the change of lights and pass the fellow pedalistas waiting at the lights (a trick that never fails to satisfy). As I did my best 'Schleck in the saddle' pose up the hill I was aware of a passenger on my tail and gave a little glimpse over my shoulder to spy the wheelsucker. No sooner had I done so than said sucker pulled up alongside me to compliment me on my bike and it's wonderful carbon fibredness (I should point out that due to futurestar's constant infringement on 'me' time I have taken to treating myself to a weekly ride to work on the Colnago lest it think that I am neglecting it).

Now, back to the point. Being complimented on one's 2 wheeled loveliness is not a bad thing I hear you cry and, yes, you're right. However, being complimented by somebody as you are on the steepest part of the hill and giving it your best Schleckism (seated don't forget) and said complimenteur is RIDING A FUCKING BMX!!!! is not so nice. He wasn't even puffing - the precocious little shit. What made it doubly bad was that he had been trackstanding (oh, how I wish I could) at the lights - he'd caught me from a standing start!

Naturally I exchanged pleasantries and then cruised away with an inward grimace and my tail so firmly between my legs that I could feel it chaffing.

Oh, the shame of it!

Image from chrispeters.com

Regardez mon booty

Warning - this post is not about my Beyoncé-like posterior (sorry to disappoint)

Le Tour does seem to bring out a myriad of emotions in a grown man. From the fist pumping, screaming fool that fleetingly showed on Eurosport (we stood by a distinctive tree on the Tilloy les Marchiennes section of pavé so that I would have the best chance of seeing myself on the telly - it worked!) to the tongue tied pit lane loiterer at the Wanze départ.

However, all of these characteristics pale in comparison when it comes to the tat obsessed thug that wants to claim every single piece of jetsom from the caravan. Large PMU foam hand - I NEED IT! Cheap floppy Skoda hat - GIVE IT TO ME! FdJ jersey - I BEG YOU YOUNG TEENAGE PROMOTIONS GIRL, THROW IT TO ME NOT THE 8 YEAR OLD BOY WITH ONE LEG (he'd never get the use out of it like I would). So a hearty couple days worth of leaping, pouncing, elbowing and snatching resulted in a rather large pile of tat that, when in Rome, brought me a great deal of satisfaction but, when in home, made me wonder why I have added to the growing mound of tentatively cycling related 'memorabilia' that I am amassing. And I don't even want to start on the new addiction I have to Haribo liquorice.

Here's what I got -


This constituted a nice late lunch.........


....always support les flics........


.......utterly pointless 'pop out' disks seemed all the rage this year......


.......these are the uninflated clackers that always look as if they are going to hit a sprinter full in the face at 70km/h........


.......chapeau le tat!