The Ride of the Falling Leaves (Kent/Surrey version)

I've just got back from a cracking ride with Neil. We followed the route of Dulwich Paragon's 'Ride of the Falling Leaves', a sportive that takes place on October 3rd (truth be told, I was supposed to do this last year but the weather was so bad I felt sure that it would become the 'Ride of the Fallen Rider' so hid guiltily under the duvet in the knowledge that riders were coming literally past my door). Anyway, no such problems today as the weather was nothing short of perfect. Simply put YOU MUST DO THIS RIDE! it is absolutely brilliant - fantastic roads, beautiful pastoral countryside scenes and some absolutely killer climbs including the infamous Toys Hill (the above graphic shows it's inclines - ouch). Now I will feel no pangs of guilt tucking into tonight's fish & chips from the Sea Cow.

CLICK HERE FOR THE RIDE OF THE FALLING LEAVES

CLICK HERE FOR THE SEA COW (YUM, YUM)

J'adore etre un poseur

I had to get the weekend bike looked at today so rode it into work for a change (I am an utter mechanical ignoramus but the kind mechanic at Edwardes was so helpful and utterly unpatronising that they definitely get my vote for future visits). Anyway, as I got to the office so much earlier than normal it was still locked so I decided to get a coffee (actually, it was a cappuccino - full fat, of course) and sit outside at a table to watch the world go by. Now, my intention with this blog is to be as candid as possible so I have to report that, as I sat in the morning sun in full Lycra, Radars on head getting the occasional glance at the bike first and then me (doubtless they were thinking 'what does he look like?!') I utterly enjoyed the posing. Be honest, every single cyclist with a half decent bike and a moderate level of fitness absolutely does indulge in the narcissistic pleasure of 'being seen' every now and again. Otherwise why would we buy such glorious bits of kit unless we were pros? I am not ashamed to admit this and neither should you be.

EDWARDES, 221-225 CAMBERWELL ROAD, LONDON 020 7703 3676 (no website - strictly old school)

Born again cyclists

As a cyclist I am all too aware that I fall into a niche (born-again-middle-aged-indulging-in-the-bike-he-couldn't-afford-when-he-was-probably-fitter-to-ride-it type) and another part of said niche is soon to be fulfilled - that of being a dad (eek!). I now find myself eyeing every passing pram with the same lusty gaze that I previously reserved for 2 wheeled exotica. Quinny, Bugaboo, Phil&Ted, you name it and I now know it's weight, turning circle and how quick it packs down. But nothing, I mean nothing, could prepare me for this little discovery - the Concord Neo Carbon. This is truly a pram that would have even the most confirmed bachelor thinking twice about procreation. Luckily for me, both sets of parents have offered to furnish us with a set of wheels for the sprog (or sprogette) - I think they may be in for a shock.

CLICK HERE FOR A PRAM FIT FOR CONTADOR JUNIOR

Music to my ears

Well, the holiday is over, culminating in a wonderful 7 hour drive home along with all the other 'lets go earlier than the other' drivers crawling along the A303. Anyway, home now and looking forward to a nice ride out in tomorrow's sunshine. What better to get me in the mood than day 2 highlights of the Tour of Ireland? Well, I'll tell you what - some decent music on the opening and closing credits, that's bloody what! I can just about handle the Tour de France tune (although it does sound like a wheezing french accordion player giving his last breath into the bellows) but I cannot stand the drippy, whimsical 'Clannadian' Celtic crap that blurts out every 10 minutes during the hour long show. Maybe it's nostalgia but, as far as I am concerned, nothing will ever beat the Eighties Channel 4 highlights tune written by none other than everybody's favourite Buzzcock, Pete Shelley.

CLICK HERE FOR A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE

A fun day out!

I had a spring in my step today - a little bit of cycling related activity to brighten my day and populate my blog was the plan. So, with full clearance from my beloved, off we set towards the British Cycling Museum in Camelford (a small and rather dull town in North Cornwall probably most famous for having it's water contaminated in 1988 by 20 tonnes of aluminium sulphate being dumped into the wrong tank at a water treatment works). After driving through the mizzle and following the signs the anticipation grew and grew. However, after reaching what we thought was the right location the signage dried up, as can oft happen in the countryside. 'No fear, I'll just pop into the local information centre' says I, whence upon entering and waiting for the backpacking middle agers to decide their next choice of coastal path I was told by the kind lady that 'Oh, sorry ma deeyer, 'tis closed fur refurbissment. Ah donno wah theyz doowin it in Orgussed, 'tis stoopid'. Deep disappointment was compounded by the matronising comforting from my beloved. So, dear reader, I leave you for today with nothing where there could have been so much from a museum that boasts over 400 bikes, over 1000 medals, fobs and badges and window displays of gas, candle battery and oil lighting. No doubt yooz is as disappointed as Ize is.

There's truth in those lyrics!

I'm supposed to be on holiday from the bike but that doesn't mean the blogging stops. Here's a quickie that was sent sent to me by Jaz - it is a bit too close for comfort but utter genius!
CLICK ON PERFORMANCE

Holiday Time

A week off for most would be a welcome distraction from the daily grind and, indeed I am looking forward to a break in Cornwall. However, in an effort to keep my beloved sweet (little does she know the bigger picture) I have agreed to her request for a Lycra free week. Nothing but the delights of each others company (and my parents) for 8 whole days. No going out on cool Cornish mornings, sweeping down virtually traffic free roads (if you know where to look they do exist at this time of year, honestly) sucking in unlimited pure, clean air and no pre Southern Sportive training block. Oh how I am looking forward to it (cue gentle sobbing)

The Correspondent's Bike

Regular readers of this blog (all 4 of you) will notice that I have regular comments posted by a certain person. I like to call this person 'The Correspondent', he is my equivalent of Dr Hutch's Bernard. Oft he throws his morsels of wisdom on my comments plate and I gratefully gobble them up (even though they do give me acute indigestion). Unfortunately he got knocked off his bike the other week. I say 'unfortunately' because it meant that his insurance payout has gifted him a complete upgrade and I have had to live with the regular phone calls, texts and picture messages - 'Guess what I've just got?', 'Guess which wheels I've got?' and so on, and on, and on....So, today, behold the finished article (another picture message, hence the shoddy quality). Quest frame ('He's a mate', he says), Reynold's Assault wheels ('Deep section carbon, so quick'), Campag Super Record ('It's a solid as a Swiss watch') and Deda white carbon fibre bars ('Flash' (that's my comment)). All in all I have to admit that it is a very nice bit of kit, albeit in a 'European' sort of way and, though I hate to say it, he was apparently quite a good rider in his (long departed) youth and possibly worthy of this indulgence. Of course the problem now is that, much though I deny it to my beloved, I feel an arms race in the offing. Mmmmm.......what first?

QUEST BIKES

Best left un-spoken

Whilst doing a bit of over-the-shoulder reading on the tube this evening (rest day today - I'm back in 'training' but more of that another time) I noticed a picture of a bike of the future - ooooh. Needing to know more I actually sought out one of the annoying free-rag waving touts ('You touch me with that thing when I walk past and I'll ram it down your throat') to get a copy so I could read the piece properly. As ever it was littered with 'could be's, 'if's and other such uncertainties which dominate these mind-numbing, public space littering tatsheets and I duly disposed of it (responsibly) after having read the piece. However, I do remain fascinated by spokeless wheels. I still can't work out how they work or what is the point. I did think of 2 possible advantages - 1. The ability to confuse kamikaze cats or squirrels determined to shred themselves through your spokes and 2. There would be nowhere for the Hoxton fixed wheeled twats to put their 'oh so cool' flyers. Mmmmm....maybe not such a pointless design after all.

I've Mappedmyride

For those of us too tight to splash out on a Garmin and not out of contract with their existing mobile so unable to get their hands on an i-Phone, here is a good quick fix - mapmyride.com. Simply plot your route googlemaps style (but actually more intuitive) and it works out your total distance, climbing and descent all for free! It even gives you a profile of your course just like the ones that show the Tour stages (little tip - if you drag and condense the profile box you can make even the flattest of rides look like an Alpine stage to impress your friends). There's loads more things you can do on the site and you can save your ride and send the link to whomever might be interested just like the one below that I did today.

METROPELOTON'S SUNDAY JAUNT

Skin up, baby!

The weekend is here and it's not raining (at time of this posting)! Time for a bit of pimpage on the pride and joy methinks. I've read good things about Lizard Skins bartape so thought I would indulge myself (and £25 is a definite indulgence) as it was about time I changed the greying white tape that was currently gracing the bars. After a little bit of cursing and then a little bit more cursing I eventually made a half decent job thanks to the stretchy and tacky nature of the tape meaning I could wrap and rewrap to my hearts content. Job done I went for a little spin and 'Oh yeah' I said to myself 'this is good stuff'. Grippy and with loads of shock absorbancy it is the most comfortable tape that I have used. Highly recommended.

LIZARD SKINS

Honest Andy

Whilst I might ride a PM I still hugely admire the Brompton in all it's myriad of colours and specs. No matter how common they are becoming on the streets of London, they never fail to make me look twice as every owner seems to put their own mark on their bike. Another thing about them that I admire is their open minded honesty towards the market they operate in. How many commercial websites of any industry would openly direct you to their competitors site so that you can make a more informed opinion about your purchase? Chapeau, Brompton.

HONEST ANDY'S BIKES

Good Italian design (with a dash of Italian sexism)

I was walking home this evening, full of the joys of a clement summer's evening when I happened upon this rather nice saddle sitting atop a tastefully specced fixie (I should point out now that i am not really a fan of fixed wheel riding on anything other than a track but I can appreciate their pared down aesthetic when done well). It's got a sort of crocodile skin effect but not in the least bit flashy. Anyway, I had never heard of the make, ISCA Selle and did after a little search it seems that they are a bit of a fixie thing. A direct search send you to the website of Gipiemme who have one of those sites that's got an English link but tells you absolutely nothing (nice pictures in the 'About Us' section). However, I did find this wonderfully sexy(ist) picture from an old advert which was probably art directed by Berlusconi himself.



PS - I'm changing how I lay out the pages of the blog as the left indent thing is starting to annoy me. This may evolve as my knowledge of blogging grows

GIPIEMME

MILANO FIXED (an Italian fix for fixie types)

Art(?) on a Sunday

In a move to appease my beloved (after my regulation weekend ride) we decided to take a day out to a nearby National Trust property, Polesden Lacey. No cycling related stuff there surely, she thought and she was right. However, they did have a sculpture trail so we walked around the beautiful grounds of the house admiring the (often dubious) 'art' on offer from the Surrey Sculpture Society. Just as we had gotten towards the end of our little trot, low and behold the beauty that you see above. At first glance you see a reptilian specimen worthy of Robot Wars but NO!, this is the work of Daren Greenhow, he who creates amazing works of art from old bicycle tat. He's so clever is our Daz that he uses hubs for the tail, bits of chain for the claws and, no, surely not, cassette rings for the scaly spines. The man is a genius I tell you and you can buy a piece of the genius for just £795!! Rodin, Moore, you are nothing.

Anyway, once I had recovered from this truly seismic moment we moved on (after possibly the best chocolate ice-cream to date) in order to show my beloved the other nearby attraction of Box Hill (no ulterior motive here, honestly petal). 'This is the Alp d'Huez of Surrey' I told her, 'just you wait, I did this the other week from both sides'. Sadly she was nonplussed by the 'Giant of Dorking', as was I when driving up it. Still, any climb with a few hairpins gives enough material to pretend one is leading on an Alpine ascent.

Overcome by altitude sickness I felt the need to pull into a nearby car park to catch my breath where, low and behold by total coincidence, there was a bike shop! As far as I am concerned Cycles Dauphin has the most edited selection of bike porn that I have yet to see. Perfect in size and selection, I would highly recommend it for retail therapy to anybody who challenges themselves to climb the Box - it's just a shame that it has been shut both times I have been there!

DAZ'S WORK

CYCLES DAUPHIN